更多精彩完整内容请关注致申教育的两个公众号：“致申PrimeX”和“致申留学”

1) Self Introduction
自我介绍
Hi, nice to meet you guys. My name is Michael, founder and CEO of Prime X Education. Growing up in Shenzhen, I completed my middle school and high school study in one of the most prestigious schools in the city, Shenzhen Foreign Languages School, known as SFLS. After that, I went to the U.S. to study Journalism at UT Austin and then returned to China to work as an education consultant, who mainly helps Chinese students with their whole application packages. 
Hi，很高兴今天跟各位分享与主文书相关的内容。我是Michael 梁，致申教育的创始人兼CEO，我从小在深圳长大，在深圳最负盛名的学校之一的深圳外国语学校（SFLS）完成了我的中学和高中学业。之后，我前往美国继续求学，在德克萨斯大学奥斯汀分校主修新闻学专业。回国后我开始在留学行业中担任文书顾问老师，主要负责中国学生在申请季中的申请材料的准备。

I hope that today you can leave this talk with some insightful takeaways as to what’s expected from your college application essays as well as how you can fuse your life experience and activities into your Personal Statement essay. 
希望今天的分享结束后大家可以清晰地了解美国大学所期望从你的文书当中看到的内容，以及学会如何将你的生活经历和所做过的活动融入到你的主文书当中。

2) Why do you write PS? What schools are looking for from your PS?  
你为什么要写主文书？学校想从你的主文书中寻找到什么？

Most schools that you’ll be applying to accept the Common App, for which you will have to write a personal statement essay that is 650 words or less. This essay is your chance to show admissions officers your personality, which is hard to convey in mere numbers (transcripts, test scores) and lists (activity sheet). The American college admissions process considers each student holistically—taking into account their unique personality and extracurricular activities such as volunteer work and athletics. Admissions officers genuinely want to know who you are. They want to see that you’re a multifaceted human being, with a robust personality, and who is capable of giving a glimpse into their identity through a story, or narrative. 
你申请的大多数学校都会接受通用申请系统，因此你必须写一篇650字以内的主文书。这篇文章是你向学校招生官展示你的个性的机会，很难用简单的数字（成绩单，标化成绩）和活动列表来呈现。美国大学录取过程是从整体上考量每个申请者的 - 从他们独特的个性到所参与的课外活动，例如志愿者工作和体育活动等等。招生官由衷的想知道你是谁，他们希望看到你是一个全面发展的，具有鲜明个性的人，并且能够通过故事或叙述瞥见申请者的身份。

Rather than fearing the essay-writing process, as most students do, you should be grateful that schools care to know who you are…beyond test scores and utilitarian lists of activities. Naturally, the first step to writing thoughtfully crafted essays is knowing who you are and which aspects of your personality you want to reveal to admissions officers. You will convey these points through the content of your essays, as well as through your writing voice.
与大多数学生一样，你与其头疼文书写作过程，倒不如去感激学校除了你的考试成绩与功利性的活动清单以外，还非常关心你是谁。当然，撰写精心构思的文书的第一步是知道你是谁，以及你希望向招生官展现你哪方面的个性。因此，你文章的内容和你的写作声音将传达出这些要点。

Some aspects that American colleges love are of course, sports (sports are a huge part of American culture, and a solid athlete is always well-respected), individualism, dedication, and passion. Since the era of Manifest Destiny, Americans have always romanticized the individual who can “pull himself up by his own bootstraps,” as seen in old Cowboy Westerns and in the common Man versus Society themes of modern day movies. Despite the fact that, to use a trite phrase, we are living in an “increasingly globalized world” where team effort is valued, one cannot simply erase a notion of a nation’s collective past with a present-day need. Also, American college admissions officers like to see long-term commitment to one or two activities. It’s better to truly devote yourself to something and excel at it (or at least, harbor a deep, genuine interest in it), than to superficially hop from activity to activity while only scratching the surface of each. Lastly, Americans love to see passion (an overused word that you should not use in your essays, by the way!). It doesn’t matter where your passion lies – in the science lab, on the sports field, in the music practice room, or simply reading novels or drawing – as long as your passion radiates through your words and reflects your personality and penchants, you should write about it. 
美国大学喜欢的一些方面当然是体育（体育是美国文化的重要组成部分，坚忍的运动员总是受到尊重），个人主义，奉献精神和热情。自从昭昭天命之世以来，美国人总是把那些能够“自助式的自我提升”的人浪漫化，正如过去的西部牛仔片以及现代电影中“人对抗社会”的共同主题一样。尽管如此，老生常谈的说，我们生活在一个“日益全球化的世界”中，这使得团队的努力备受重视，人们不能简单地抹去一个民族集体过去的概念与当今的需要。此外，美国大学招生官喜欢看到的是你长期致力于的一两项活动，最好是真正投入到某种事物并且真正掌握它（或至少对它是有深刻的，真正的兴趣），而不是肤浅地从对一个活动的兴趣转移到另一个活动上，这样仅仅只是抓住每个事物的表面而已。最后，美国希望喜欢看到你的激情体现在哪里（顺便说一句，“激情”是一个在你的文书中要尽量避免被过度使用的词）。无论你的激情在哪里 - 在科学实验室，运动场，音乐练习室，或只是阅读小说或绘画 - 只要你的激情通过你的言语能散发出并反映出你的个性和倾向，你就应该把它写下来。

3) Common structure of PS + alternative structures of the essay (quick overview) 
文书常见的结构+其余可行的文书写作结构

Most common PS structure (the typical personal narrative essay structure and its components, starting with a hook and conveying several scenes like in a movie). 
最常见的文书结构（典型的个人叙事文章结构及其组成部分，从引子开始并像在电影中那样传达几个场景）。

Depending on the content of your essay, you may opt to be more creative and use an alternative structure, such as a diary format (great for travel trips or experiences in which your internal change happened over a period of a few days or at most, a summer), a manifesto (great for students who have firm convictions that define them, perhaps a type of faith, a code of living, or something more specific such as vegetarianism, or a pivotal essay (which is where you start with the conflict of the story as your hook). 
根据你文章的内容，你可以选择更具创造性的和其余可行的文书写作结构，例如日记体（非常适合旅行或某个时期的某些日子让你的内在真正发生改变的体验），一个宣言（非常适合那些有坚定信念的学生，也许是一种信仰，生活准则，或者更具体的东西，如素食主义，或者一篇很关键的文章（这种结构的文书是把故事的冲突作为故事的引子放在开头部分）

4) What types of experiences can you discuss? 
主文书中可以用来讨论的经历类型？

Sports; artistic hobbies such as drawing, painting, calligraphy, playing an instrument, being an active member of an orchestra or band; travel (but not a cliché trip to Africa which opened up your eyes to the poverty of the world, which sounds like a hackneyed naïve piece and is overdone); and turning a negative life experience into a positive by seeing the silver lining and taking action. Just choose whichever is most meaningful to you. For example, maybe you define yourself first as a musician; go ahead and write an essay about the piano or whatever instrument you play. There are endless possibilities with such essays—e.g., you could write about how playing an instrument contributed to your personal growth (choosing a specific reason, such as how daily practice made you more disciplined or how overcoming plateaus in progress taught you the value of consistency) or how it developed your artistic faculties. Maybe you define yourself as an athlete. You could write about how playing soccer changed you from more of a loner into someone who truly recognizes the values of teamwork and camaraderie. You could write about how strengthening your body during intense workouts on the field and in the gym unexpectedly also strengthened your willpower by teaching you the veracity of “mind over matter.” No matter what talent you choose, there are a plethora of ways you can write about it; there is no cookie-cutter mold for the content of these essays. Just take a minute to reflect on how the talent has actually impacted or changed you. 
运动；艺术爱好中，比如说素描，油画，书法，乐器演奏，管弦乐队/流行音乐乐队成员；旅游（但非是老套的那种，比如说去非洲旅游让你大开眼界，丰富自己对世界的认识。因为这听起来很陈腐，很天真，而且非常夸大）；还有像这样的：因为看到一线希望并积极努力行动，将一个消极的生活经历转变为积极的经历。你就选一个对于你来说意义最重大的经历即可。举个例子，也许你首先会把自己定位为音乐家，那就先写一篇文章关于钢琴或者其它你会的乐器。这类型的文章有无限的可能——比方说你可以写乐器演奏对于你个人成长的影响（选一个特别的理由，比如说日常的练习如何让你生活规律化亦或者克服停滞期的过程教会你持之以恒的价值所在）或者对你艺术才能发展的影响。可能你将自己定义为运动员，你可以写，踢足球这项运动是如何使你从一个孤独的人变成真正认识到团队精神和友情的人。你可以写，在户外/健身房的热心锻炼，帮助强壮身体的同时，也意外地通过真实的让你体验什么叫做“精神高于物质”，来增强你的意志力。不论你选择哪种才能，你有很多种方式去写；这些文章内容的写法并没有固定的模式。花一两分钟的时间去反思你的才能是如何影响或者改变了你自己的。

How to make sports unique—don’t focus on the “persistence” aspect that a sport instilled in you! This is extremely overdone! I’ll give you an example of how you can take a sports essay and give it your own spin. One of our students last year was an excellent football player, Nathan. On the outside, he looked a bit scary to be honest—very tall, jacked, long hair, and chiseled features reminiscent of the werewolves in Twilight. However, when I heard him speak for the first time I was shocked. He had the most docile tone and seemed extremely shy. Clearly not what I expected. When we spoke, I found that he was apathetic about most things except philosophy. He was in his existential crisis phase, a bit early on but oh well. 
如何让运动的经历变得独特——不要集中于写某一项体育运动给你灌输的“坚持不懈”这一个方面！这样写是及其夸大的！让我通过一个例子来告诉你如何写一篇关于体育运动的文章并加入自己的特色。我们去年的一位学生，Nathan,他是非常出色的足球运动员。光看他的外表，说实话会让人看着觉得有些害怕——他非常高大，长头发，轮廓鲜明的特征让人想起暮光之城里的狼人形象。然而，当我第一次听到他开口说话的时候，我被震惊到了。他说话的语调非常的温顺，而且似乎特别的腼腆。显然跟我想像的完全不一样。当我们交谈的时候，我发现他对哲学以外的大多数事情都漠不关心。他当时处于对自己的存在感到危机的阶段，说实话有点早。

For his essay, we focused on how playing football allowed him to unleash this quasi-aggressive, testosterone-laden side of him on the field that was usually repressed. In school and real life, Nathan is quiet, shy, and demur, and on the field, he runs free and hits hard, proof of humanity’s primal instincts. Playing football allowed Nathan to express his duality, and the release of energy on the court, which resulted in big wins for his school team, ended up translating into an increased confidence in the classroom. Nathan started to speak up more and feel more comfortable expressing his ideas in class, and when he felt comfortable expressing his ideas and having them questioned by peers and teachers, naturally his own philosophical views were influenced and even altered a bit. In the end, the essay ended up becoming a very reflective piece on the duality of man combined with a teenager’s philosophical shift, all made possible thanks to football! Who would’ve guessed? This was a unique essay, and Admissions Officers definitely were not expecting such views and introspection from a football player.
在他的文章中，我们集中描写踢足球是如何让他在球场上释放他这种具有攻击性的、充满雄性激素，通常被压抑的一面。在学校和现实生活中，Nathan很安静，腼腆，表现抗拒。在球场上，他自由奔跑，努力踢球，是人性的原始本能的证明。踢足球让Nathan表达了他的两面性，在球场上释放能量，为他的校队赢得了巨大的胜利，这最终转化为他在课堂上的信心增强。Nathan不再缄口莫言，他感觉在课堂表达自己的观点变得不再拘谨。当他能很顺畅的表达自己的观点，并且这些观点被同学和老师不断追问后，自然而然的，他自己的哲学观点受到影响，甚至会有些许改变。这篇文章最终写成了一个关于人的二重性与青少年的哲学转变结合在一起，有深思熟虑的作品，这一切都得益于足球！有谁曾经猜想过？这就是一篇独特的文章，招生官绝对也不曾想过足球运动员会有这样的看法和反省。

5）Valuable tips for your personal essay
关于你个人陈述-超实用小窍门
·Start as early in the process as possible. The more time you have to write, the more revising you can do and thus, the better your essay will be. Also, procrastination leads to unnecessary stress.
尽早开始准备。你写的时间越多，越能反复修改，因此你的文章也会越写越好。而且，拖延症只会导致不必要的压力。
·Brainstorm and outline before you begin. It’s amazing how many ideas you can come up with through effective brainstorming. Jot down strengths, interests, talents, or aspects of your personality that you really want the admissions officers to know about. Creating an outline will allow you to view the entire skeleton of your essay, making flaws in flow and organization of ideas visible. 
写之前一定要头脑风暴，写提纲。你会惊奇的发现，在有效的头脑风暴之后你可以想到多少的好点子。记下你真正想让招生官知道的优点、兴趣、才能或个性方面。写出提纲能让你对自己文章的构架有一个整体的认知，使得行文中的缺陷以及思想构架可视化。
·Make your essay your own. Think about what you care about, what sparks your interest, or what motivates you, and then write about it. Don’t write about what you think admissions officers want to hear.
让你的文章成为你的东西。想一下你最关心的是什么，什么激发了你的兴趣，你的动力是什么，然后写下来。不要去想你认为招生官想要听到的是什么。
·Don’t be common. Take a risk! Don’t write what everyone else is writing about. Read essays online, ask your friends what they are writing about, and then choose something completely different.
不要普遍化。尝试冒风险！不要写其他人会写的东西。读一些网上的文章，问一下你的朋友们，他们在写些什么，然后选一些完全不一样的来写。
·Allow your personality to shine. This is the only part of the application that allows admissions officers to see you from your own perspective. If you are generally a funny person, feel free to sprinkle a few witticisms or silly metaphors in your essay, but don’t attempt to write an entire satire or comical piece. Remember: the essay’s purpose is to convey your intelligence, passions, and strengths—not your sense of humor.
让你的个性发光。这是申请表中唯一一个能让招生官以你的角度去了解你自身的机会。如果你平常是一个有趣的人，你可以随意在文章中撒一些俏皮话或傻傻的比喻，但不要试图写一篇完整的讽刺或滑稽文章。记住：这篇文章的目的是要传达你的智慧，热情和力量，而非你的幽默感。
·Stay focused. This is your chance to tell the admissions officers why they should accept you. They already have your activity sheet, so avoid making your essay read like a stale grocery list of awards and accomplishments. Rather, choose one topic that really interests you, and write about it. Stick to one main theme throughout the entire essay. Even if the essay prompt is rather broad, your answer should be narrow. Through specific details and real examples, your writing will reveal your passions and personality.
话题要集中。这是你让招生官知道为什么他们应该招收你的机会。他们已经看了你的活动列表，所以要避免让你的文章读起来像一个记满了成就和奖状的陈旧杂货单。整篇文章需要坚持一个主题。即便文章要求相当宽泛，你也需要将你的答案缩小范围。通过具体的细节和真实的例子，你的文章会彰显你的激情与个性。
·Have fun! College admissions essays tend to lean more toward personal narrative and free-form writing and are therefore more loosely structured than academic essays. It is still important to have your ideas flow logically within and between paragraphs, but this essay is not a test in creative writing. Content trumps form—once you figure out what to write about (arguably the most difficult part), just let the words flow with sincerity during your first draft. 
享受！大学入学写作倾向于个人叙事和自由形式偏向的写作，因此这结构比学术论文更松散。让你的思想在段落间有逻辑性地流动还是非常重要的，但是这篇文章并非是创造性作文写作的考试。一旦你找到你想写的是什么（可以说这是最难的一部分），你在内容上就赢了。需要的就是在你的初稿写作中流露你的真诚。
·Be specific, clear, and to-the-point. 
具体，明确，切中要害。
·Do not exceed the word limit. 
不要超过字数限制。
·Don’t plagiarize. This should go without saying, but don’t ever copy or tweak someone else’s essay. Even if you found it buried hundreds of clicks away from an initial Google search, admissions officers have literally read thousands (if not tens of thousands) of college application essays in their lives and more than likely will be able to spot plagiarism. Plagiarizing is simply unacceptable in America, and a plagiarized essay will be tossed in the trash.
不要抄袭。这应该是不用说的了，千万不要抄袭他人的文章。即便你在最初的Google搜索中发现它被埋在几百条链接的下面，招生官还是很可能看的出来是否有剽窃。因为他们的的确确读过上千篇（即使不是成千上万篇）的大学入学文章。剽窃在美国是不可接受的，剽窃的文章连垃圾都不如。
·Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite! Don’t expect a flawless (or even good) essay on your first try. The pressure will stress you out and probably contribute to a frustrating case of writer’s block. Don’t worry about trivial things you can clean up later, such as grammar or spelling. First, simply get your ideas off your head and onto paper. Then, a few hours or even a few days later, look at your work with “fresh eyes.”
重写，重写，再重写。不要期待在第一次的写作中就能写出完美无瑕（或非常好）的文章。压力会使你紧张，可能会给作者在文章中写出令人沮丧的例子。不要去担心那些你之后可以完善的事情，比如语法或者拼写。首先，简单地把你的想法从脑子里拿出来，写在纸上。然后，在几个小时甚至几天后，用“新的眼光”看你的作品。
·Edit. Go through your entire essay a few times and Spell Check (once on the computer, and once or twice manually for homonymic mistakes that a word processor may not catch such as “they’re” vs. “their”). Remove frivolous or nondescript words such as “very,” “many,” and “interesting,” which weaken your writing. Check for grammatical and punctuation errors. You may want to ask someone who hasn’t yet read your essay to proofread it for you, as they are more likely to catch mistakes. Even minor mistakes show a lack of care for quality in your work.
编辑。完整重复看几次你自己的文章，检查拼写错误（一次在电脑上，一次或两次手动地处理一个文字处理器可能无法捕捉到的同义错误，比如“他们”和“他们的”）。 删除那些“非常”、“很多”、“有趣”等轻浮或无关紧要的词，这些词只会削弱你的写作能力。检查语法和标点错误。你可能会想让某个从来没看过你文章的人帮你校对，因为他们更容易看出你写的错误。就算是很微小的错误都会显示出你对工作质量缺乏足够的关心。
·Ask a friend or teacher for an opinion. When you think you’re finally done with this grueling process, find someone whose opinion you trust (e.g., a scholarly friend, an English teacher, a parent). Ask them what you can do to improve your writing, and accept their feedback gracefully. Listen carefully and consider their suggestions. In the end, it is your essay, so do not implement any changes you disagree with and ensure that your narrative remains in your writing voice. 
向你的朋友或者老师请教，寻求意见。当你觉得你终于完成了这个艰难的过程之后，找一个你信任的人（例如学者朋友，英语老师，家长），向他们请教你还需要做些什么来提高你的写作水平，并有礼貌地接受他们的反馈。仔细倾听并考虑他们的建议。最后，这是你的文章，不要去改动任何你不同意的地方，并确保你的叙述里有你的写作基调。
·Read your essay aloud. Yes, aloud. Not in your head. By reading an essay aloud, you will be able to pick up any phrases that sound awkward or wordy while noticing which areas don’t flow smoothly.
大声朗读你自己的文章。是的，一定要大声。并不是默读。当你大声朗读自己的文章时，在那些听起来不流畅的部分，你能够挑出所有听起来有些尴尬或者冗长的短语。
6) Essay Topics to Avoid 
需要避免的文章论题
·Your heroism. If you saved someone in a swimming pool and that experience really changed you, okay, write about it. Just make sure the essay does not come off as arrogant. Be humble when describing your heroic (a word to avoid in the essay, by the way) efforts.
你的英雄主义。如果你在泳池救过人，而且这个经历真的改变了你，这个可以写。需要注意确保文章不会显得你很傲慢。描述你的英雄事迹（heroic，顺带说一下，这个词要避免出现在文章之中）需要谦虚态度。
·Pity me! Topics such as sexual assault, death, rape, depression, and suicide attempts are far too heavy—yet unfortunately, all too common—for a college admissions essay. Such topics may even raise a red-flag as to how ready you are to handle college at this point. Save these topics for a psychology class or your diary.
请同情我！论题比方说关于性侵犯，死亡，强奸，沮丧以及自杀企图都远远太过沉重——然而很不幸的是，对于大学入学文章来说，都太普通了。没有人愿意读一篇关于可怕事件的报道，即使它以你印象深刻的自我分析和个人成长作为总结。这样的论题很可能会在你准备大学申请的这个节点上给你带来一张红牌。把这些论题保留到你的心理课或者写进你的日记里。
·Excuses. Related to “Pity me!” excuses (e.g., divorce or death in the family, moving to a new school) for bad grades should be explained in a supplemental attachment. Most applications provide an area where you can explain extenuating circumstances that may have affected your academic record. Keep these short and sweet, and most importantly, far away from your main essays.
借口。关于“同情我”之类的（比如，家庭离异/死亡，转去新的学校）导致不好的成绩的借口，这种应该写在附加材料中。大多数的申请表都会提供一个模块，让你可以解释有哪些可能会影响到你学业成绩的情况。把这些写的简单而且不苦涩，而且更重要的事，让这些远离你的主文书。
·The travel itinerary. So many students write about traveling that it is no longer a unique topic. If one excursion changed you for the better or opened your eyes in some way, focus on it. Just make sure to explore the important aspects of the journey in-depth and introspectively, rather than providing an itinerary of places you’ve been to.
旅游路线。有如此多的学生描写旅行，这已经不是一个独特的论题了。如果有这么一次远足让你有更好的改变或者在某个层面上打开了你的眼界，那就把注意力放在这个上面。一定要明确你探索的重要方面是旅途中深刻反省的部分，而非是简单提供一个你去过的地方行程。
·Touchy religious or political issues. Major issues such as abortion, the legalization of marijuana, and overseas wars are extremely divisive. Though you may be convinced your arguments are solid and that your point of view is “right,” no one likes being lectured to. The risks of offending the admissions officers are too high, so save these types of essays for history, political science, or sociology courses once/if you’re accepted.
棘手的宗教或政治问题。重大问题诸如堕胎、大麻合法化和海外战争等都是极其容易出现分歧的。虽然你可能深信你的论点不可动摇，是正确的，但没有人喜欢被人训斥。冒犯招生官的风险太高，所以，如果/一旦你被录取，就把这些类型的文章留到历史、政治学或社会学课程中去讨论吧。
·Dating/sex life. Writing about a steamy or controversial topic may be an easy way to grab the reader’s attention, but it will likely just embarrass your reader. Avoid topics you would not feel comfortable discussing with a stranger. Some aspects of life are best kept private.
约会/性生活。写一篇充满争议或有争议的话题可能是吸引读者注意力的一个简单方法，但这可能会让读者感到羞耻。避免与陌生人交谈时感到不舒服的话题。生活中的某些方面最好还是保密。
·Dodgy Behavior. Don’t ever write about anything remotely illegal, such as gambling, drag racing, or substance (ab)use, no matter how cool or fascinating you may find the topic or how seamlessly you can weave it into a narrative. Again, colleges are business organizations who seek to mitigate their risk, so avoid coming off as even 1% of a liability. 
狡猾的行为。不要写任何稍微接近违法行为，如赌博、飙车或（精神性）药物滥用。不管你找到的这个话题多酷多迷人，也不管你能多么无缝地把这个话题编织成一个故事。重申一次，大学是寻求减轻风险的商业组织，因此避免成为负债，即便是其中的1%。